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Being There

How to Love Those Who Are Hurting

Dave Furman

5.0

eBook

5.0

Being There

How to Love Those Who Are Hurting

Dave Furman

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Everyone has friends or family who suffer from sickness, disability, depression, or the death of a loved one. Oftentimes, the people who love the hurting also struggle in their own unique ways.

Writing from the unique perspective of one who needs extra help on a daily basis, Dave Furman offers insight into the support, encouragement, and wisdom that people need when helping others. Furman draws on his own life experiences, examples from the Bible, and wisdom from Christians throughout history to address the heart and ministry of those who are called to serve others. Deeply personal and powerfully pastoral, this book points readers to the strength that only God can provide as they love those who are hurting.

Originally published by Crossway, this new edition features additional discussion questions.


"I intend to give Being There to the many people who are daily there for me, a quadriplegic—it’s a must read for any believer who desires to follow Jesus in a life of service to others."

Joni Eareckson Tada, founder and CEO, Joni and Friends International Disability Center


“Filled with insight that only someone who has walked this road can provide.”

Nancy Guthrie, author and conference speaker


“Pastors: you will love chapter 8. It will supply your church with invaluable guidelines for helping others. The rest of us: we will be better friends to those who suffer when we meditate on Dave’s wise counsel.”

Ed Welch, counselor and faculty, The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation


"For many years Dave Furman has faithfully modeled being there for others while he himself has benefited from those who have been there for him. This gives him a unique perspective and wisdom in crafting a book about helping the hurting. I highly recommend it."

Tim Challies, blogger, challies.com


“Too often, books are written for the hurting, and the person left out is the friend or family member who is helping the hurting. That’s why Dave Furman’s Being There will be an invaluable resource.”

Deepak Reju, Associate Pastor, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC; President, Board of Directors, Biblical Counseling Coalition


“This is not a book that offers easy solutions, but instead brings Bible-centered counsel to bear on the dark moments of life."

Mez McConnell, pastor, founder of 20schemes


"Writing from the vantage point of one who daily struggles with pain, Dave gives authoritative counsel to those eager to learn the art of being present and the skill of giving practical care.”

JR Vassar, Lead Pastor, Church at the Cross, Grapevine, Texas; author, Glory Hunger


“This is full of pastoral wisdom, profound theology, and deeply personal experience. It is a beautiful book with a beautiful message.”

Sam Allberry, Associate Pastor, Immanuel Nashville; Canon Theologian, Anglican Church of North America


  • Title

    Being There

  • Author(s)

    Dave Furman

  • ISBN

    9781783974306

  • Format

    eBook

  • Publisher

    Evangelical Press

  • Topic

    Life's Challenges

  • Audience

    Adults, Church Leaders

  • Pages

    160

  • Published

    11/13/2023

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Dave Furman

Dave Furman

Dave Furman is the pastor of Redeemer Church of Dubai. Since 2006 he has suffered from a nerve disorder in his arms rendering them almost disabled. He has four children with his wife, Gloria.

See other titles by this author

Overall rating

5.0 based on 1 review

Any eldership or pastoral care team would benefit from reading this together!

Before I had even finished reading Being There, I bought ten more copies to give to both hurting friends and fellow elders. That tells you how helpful I found this book!

For compassionate care-takers
Being There is addressed to “compassionate care-takers”- those who seek to help and support the hurting - particularly aiming to understand how helping the hurting impacts the helper.

It is full of applied, practical, pastoral theology that instructs us in our care for one another in the body of Christ. We are reminded how the glory of God is put on display in local churches as Christians practically show love to one another.

For twenty years, Dave has been unable to use his arms because of a complex and incurable nerve problem. It has impacted every area of daily life and the ministry God has given them in a church in Dubai – for example, he isn’t able to cut up his own food when sharing a meal with his fellow elders.

So, Dave (and his wife, Gloria, who writes a letter to the reader at the end) is able to write from personal experience of his long-term pain and disability.

He writes without self-pity. He helps us to put ourselves in the shoes of those suffering in a multiplicity of ways. Every page has the smell of authenticity.

Persuasively and gently, he illustrates how the good news of our crucified and risen Lord Jesus is life-shaping for both the sufferer and those who seek to help sufferers.

Thinking deeply about how to love
This is not a complex book, but it makes us think deeply about how to truly love one another as Christ loves us, encouraging every believer to be a “care-taker” of those who suffer.

It reminds us that as we grow in our love for our compassionate Lord, we will grow in our active love for the hurting; as we truly walk with God, we will find ourselves walking with the hurting.

Dave does not avoid hard topics. The chapter “Hope for Hard Conversations” shows that suffering does not give a sufferer freedom to sin. From scripture and personal experience, he highlights our need for brothers and sisters who faithfully rebuke us in love.

As for the ouch factor, “The Ten Commandments of What Not to Do for Your Hurting Friend” made me cringe as I thought of times when my well-intentioned attempts to help others may have hurt them even more!

This is a book any eldership or pastoral care team would benefit from reading together.

Johnny Prime, FIEC

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